I Like Girls

In honor of Maybe, Possibly, Small Chance that We Might Find Out the Sex of the Baby Week, I thought I'd get something off my chest.  This has been bothering me ever since my peers and I entered the babymaking phase of life.  I guess I noticed it before becoming pregnant the first time, but that's when it really starting to get under my skin.  It seems that when the subject of "boy or girl" comes up (approximately 15 minutes after conception), the prevailing sentiment is "I would be fine if I had all boys.  Girls are trouble!"

Now, it's always women saying this.  (I don't think men could get away with that these days.)  What the heck is that all about?  What country are we in?  What decade is this?  As far as I can figure out, here are the common arguments:

• Girls Are Moody - Otherwise  known as sensitive, expressive, emotionally intelligent?  Aren't these qualities we love about women, once they learn (i.e., we teach them) healthy ways to channel these qualities?  
• Girls Have All Sorts of Social Issues - Otherwise known as I'm not confident enough in my parenting skills to help my daughter develop positive self-esteem, individuality, and kindness.
• Girls Are Wild -  Otherwise known as they may become pregnant before they and you are ready. This is my personal favorite.  Sounds like someone made some bad decisions in their teens and twenties that they still feel a little guilty about.  And, don't boys play a role in this equation?  No one seems to worry about that. 

When I found out Clara was girl, I felt like I had been given a wonderful gift and challenge from God.  I felt honored that I was being trusted to guide a soul through the challenges that our society puts on girls and women, with the goal of helping her become a strong, sensitive, independent-minded, gracious, smart, successful woman - the total package.  I value myself enough to know that Aaron and I are up to the challenge.  

Now, boys are wonderful, and raising a boy would be a gift as well.  I am hoping for a boy this time around for Aaron's sake.  He always imagined having a boy for whom he could be a role model, and I would love for that to happen for him.  But, I can totally picture a sister for Clara to be close with, and if that's what happens, I will view our family as complete and perfect.

Finally, Disney Pics and a Bumpdate

Ok, something’s got to give.  I can’t have a blog that I only update once a month.  The readers deserve and demand more!  My excuse thus far has been sickness (traditional and morning), and now it’s my body’s new sleep schedule.  I swear, some nights I literally fall asleep before my 22 month old. 

Since becoming a (working) mom, I’ve already given up cooking, cleaning, baths, reading, watching tv, exercising, looking nice, booze (mostly), and adult company and conversation.  What else is there?  Lunch hour.  That’s when I’ll blog.  And maybe it will keep me out of Target, at least from 12 – 1 pm on weekdays, which is a start.

So, as you’ve heard, Disneyland was a huge success.  So much, in fact, that Clara is now dissatisfied with her previous favorite weekend activities of the going to the beach and the park.  We’ll arrive at those very fun destinations, only to hear ten minutes in, “See more castles?  Go to Minnie Mouse’s house more?”  We’ve told her Disney is for birthdays only, and we’ll take her in July when she turns two.  Here are some pics of the magical day (taken with my new, compact, and simple to use camera, thank you, Aaron!):

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And now for the bumpdate (update on the bump, get it?):  This week I entered my second trimester. The morning sickness for the most part is gone, except on Mondays, when it randomly rears its ugly head.  I can’t stomach the thought of pizza, and yet when presented with one, I somehow manage to eat the whole thing.  This time in the pregnancy is uncomfortable for me emotionally, because it’s a month between each appointment, and I am not yet feeling the baby move, so I just have to have faith that everything is progressing smoothly.  I have an appointment on June 3, so I’ll get to hear the heartbeat again, and I’ll also get authorization for my “big ultrasound” during which we get to find out the sex, which should be in about four to six weeks.  Think blue (hence the new blog layout)!

Happy Here!

Lovefest 2010

I am sure that all my dedicated followers (hey, Mark!) have been eagerly awaiting a Happy Here update. Well, the past five weeks or so have been a little less than happy here, due to the relentless string of colds and ear infections in our house, with the accompanying pain, guilt, helplessness, discouragement and exhaustion. Does that sound a little dramatic? Well, then you’ve never been a working mom with a toddler who has bum ears. But that’s a whole other ball of wax.

Thankfully, we are emerging from the muck and into the best month of the year. May = Lovefest in our house, which is a month-long celebration of love and Bowdens. On May 8, we celebrate the birth of yours truly, followed by the newly-instituted celebration of me being a mommy, and then later in the month we celebrate our wedding anniversary, and Aaron’s birthday is the cherry on top!

May means flowers, jewelry, fancy dinners, hand-written love letters, days at the spa, weekend vacations, and lot of cake.  And that’s just for me. Aaron is actually a tremendous gift-giver. This surprised me, because Aaron isn’t really into “stuff.” But, man-oh-man does he spoil me. Last year, when Lovefest encompassed my 30th birthday, first mother’s day, and our 5th wedding anniversary, well, let’s just say I really made out.

This is really sweet, but there is a downside, because I’m usually left scrambling to come up with a good plan to celebrate Aaron, when I thought we were just going to be “low key this year.” This is further compounded by Aaron always returning everything I ever buy him. Once, we were shopping and Aaron pointed to a mannequin and said, “I would look awesome in that.” Yes, he said that. So I bought what the mannequin was wearing. Aaron returned it. Another time, Aaron wanted a corduroy blazer. I bought one (for Christmas, not Lovefest), and it looked great on him. Yet he wasn’t convinced there wasn’t something better out there. So we trudged through every men’s store in Santa Monica. I was ready to sign divorce papers by the end of the day. Guess what we ended up buying? The same damn blazer I had put under the tree. About three years ago, Aaron decided he wanted a new Eagles tee shirt. Well, his dad bought him a couple, which he wears, but they weren’t “the one.” So he’s been shopping, and shopping, and shopping. Finally, three weeks ago, he found his Eagles shirt. (I have to admit, it is pretty sweet.) Maybe there is some deeply-rooted hunting instinct thing going on?  Just shoot a damn deer and get it over with.

Anyway, this year we are kicking off the celebration with a mini-vacay. One of the best things about California is the wide variety of accessible weekend destinations that make you feel like you’ve had a real vacation (which I swear, we’ll never have). San Francisco is an hour plane ride, then there’s San Diego, Vegas, a number of national parks, wine country, Tahoe, Santa Barbara, Catalina, et cetera. We have settled on Disneyland, with a two-night stay at a hip boutique hotel in Anaheim (get me out of my sick house!). Planning the vacation is almost as much fun for me as the actual vacation, so I’ve got lists out the wazoo. What a treat! Stay tuned next week-ish for an update, with lots of cute Clara pics at “Mickey Mouse’s House.”

Cheers to Lovefest!

The Ones You Don't Post On Facebook

Last weekend we had a great visit with our friends Nate and Julie from San Francisco.  They are expecting their first child, a son, in early June, and are checking off some things on Nate's "baby bucket list."  Some items on the list (a short visit to LA) are more practical than others (a boating/fishing trip).  In any case, we were delighted to make the cut.

Nate and Julie are the first of their group and of their families to have a baby, and they are thrilled.   They also had lots of questions.  We enjoyed reminiscing about expecting and welcoming Clara.  We were also hoping that Clara would not frighten them with her toddler behavior.  Thankfully, she was precious and even decided that she "loves her uncle."

While I was putting Clara down for her nap in the middle of the visit, I heard a lot of laughter coming from the living room.  Aaron had decided to entertain/prepare them by showing pictures of Clara when she was first born.  Don't worry, friends.  Babies may start out like this:

But pretty soon you end up with something more like this:

The Macaroni and Cheese Diaries

Sunday.  Day of family, day of laundry, day of (cue doomsday music) meal planning.  Making three meals a day (or more) for a 20 month old can be really frightening.  For me, a measure of motherhood is how diverse, nutritionally balanced, visually appealing, and well-received the child's diet is.  Imagine me beaming with pride when the labor and delivery nurse announced my 9 pound Jabba with "Mommy must really love cheeseburgers!"

This worked well for me when I was exclusively breastfeeding.  Diverse?   My own diet is very diverse, and that's what the milk was made of, right? Well-received?  Of course.  Nutritionally balanced?  You betcha.  Visually appealing?  And how!

Then came the mushy solids.  Grossed out by Gerber but too busy to make my own, I bought fancy organic baby food from Whole Foods.  Nothing but the best for Clara!  At 11 months when I stopped pumping, I needed to fill in the gaps with formula.  Ick!  Oh, how I agonized!  But the first day I sent the bottle of Horizon Organic Formula to school with Clara, I felt so ... liberated.  And it turns out formula isn't rat poison after all.

At Clara's daycare, I always try to sneak a peek at the other kids' lunch boxes.  Are their parents more creative than me?  A teacher once commended me on never packing "plastic food" (aka Gerber Graduates microwave meals).  I couldn't wait to call my husband and share this small (ok, totally huge) victory.

Now, though, Clara has her own opinions.  And Clara prefers pasta.  All kinds, but mostly Mac n Cheese. She has a reputation.  Not yet two years old, her friend McKenzie announces when Clara enters the classroom, "Clara's here.  Clara's going to eat pasta."  Embarrassed but sick of the struggle, I relented.  Pasta.  Every day.  As Aaron, ever in favor of making my life easier, points out, "That's what Italian kids eat, right?"  Right.

And organic everything?  Ha!  That went out the window when the food throwing phase began.  Tossing tub after tub of organic yogurt really hurts when there's a recession on.  Goldfish and cereal bars and (gasp) boca burgers are now welcome here.  Pirates Booty and raisins for dinner?   Sounds like a balanced meal to me.  By the looks of those cheeks, I think she's pretty well-nourished.

Me and Aa

Come On, Get Happy

A couple weeks ago, my mother, Clara's "Mimi," visited from Illinois.  It was a chilly, schizophrenic February LA day, and we were driving back to Hermosa Beach from the Burbank airport.  I was feeling apologetic about the weather, but as we rounded the exit onto the 110 S and were suddenly blinded by the sun gleaming off the downtown buildings, she said (almost as an accusation), "Seriously, what would you change about your life?"

To which I could only reply, "Good point."

I haven't always been happy here.  When my husband (then new boyfriend) said, "I am in love with you, but I was offered a job in LA, and I want us to go together," I threw myself down on the bed and cried.  I pictured the City of Angels as the playground of the devil.  I thought all of LA was Hollywood and Vine (I obviously hadn't strayed to far from Missouri at that point).  But then I looked at pictures of Hermosa Beach and got a tiny bit excited about the adventure.  

Now, after seven years of love/hate, friends coming and friends going, three apartments, three jobs (and finally finding the one), and the birth of my beautiful daughter, I can finally say I'm home.  I hope you enjoy my blog chronicling our life here at the edge of the earth (and yet somehow, the center of the universe).  

Here's us:

This little beauty is Clara Anya Bowden.  Isn't she just luscious?  After 27 tries, we were blessed with Clara in July 2008, and she's a keeper.  Clara loves her daddy to bits, but she's the world's biggest mama's girl (can you blame her?).  She talks up a storm and is a little bookworm.  She can often be found on the swings at the beach or at the doctor's office being treated for an ear infection.  She is the sweetheart of her daycare.  This blog is named for Clara, who likes to toast at dinnertime, clinking her sippy against my wine glass and saying, "Happy Here."


Clara's daddy is Aaron.  Aaron. is. awesome.  He's a talented and accomplished writer and producer of non-fiction television. If you watch History Channel, A&E, and Discovery, you've seen his work.  Aaron gets into professional sports (ya think?), particularly the Eagles and the Phillies, having grown up in Philadelphia.  He's a reader and a writer like me, a people person and a snuggle bug.  We're highly compatible ... we like things the same way.  We also have a lot of the same bad habits. Aaron is a terrific dad and a generally happy guy.  He is also very handsome ... pic coming soon.  

And then there's me.  I'm ... complicated.  I am happily employed doing written communications for a women's clothing company (oh, the perks!), working 8(ish) to 5(ish) five(ish) days a week. I finally feel like I'm getting into my groove as a mother.  I used to have interests and hobbies (cooking, dining out, reading, running, yoga), but then it got complicated, and I'm trying to find my balance.  I hope that this blog contributes to that quest.

Until next time, Happy Here!